Look...I never professed to be a patient person. Especially when it comes to myself. I have always had certain expectations and standards to live up to. So what gives?? I gave it (Amyloidosis) a year...I got through the Chemo and Stem Cell Transplant...can I please have my life back???
I guess what I'm really saying is that this "100" days thing is a real challenge. I know...you're thinking, "but it's only been 3 days!" Except that what I am thinking is, "it's been a whole 3 days! Why am I not feeling better and stronger??" Can't help myself:)
Yesterday was a challenge...was feeling a bit nauseous, not sure why, but I managed to walk on the treadmill (still can't bring myself to walk outside) for a whole 20 minutes (whoopee!). Still having trouble with my vision so its hard to stay focused on my book for any length of time. (whine) Tried to eat one of my favorite Easy Dinners (Farfalle with Chicken in a Sun dried Tomato Cream Sauce - yum) that I put in the freezer before I left...maybe I should have waited:( (whine, whine) Can't even keep my eyes open long enough to watch a whole movie! Going back to bed seemed like a good idea:)
As I say to my kids sometimes...I need an attitude adjustment...now! (Either that or I need to start taking my Ativan again!)
Today I found one...on my own blog!!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...its about learning to dance in the rain."
This is my quote for the day (and maybe for the next 97 days!). It reminds me that I'm still in the midst of a 'storm' and have quite possibly a long way to go before it has passed. Its really hard to be patient and wait for my stem cells to grow and mature. I know that I am tired and weak, but I must learn to live as much as I can within each day that I have. It may not be the way I lived each day before, but it's what I am capable of at this point in time. I have to learn to be happy with what I can accomplish at any given moment...and that it's OK if it's very different from before....for now.
Still an optimist…just venting
As a wise uncle used to say…”this too shall pass”
Love Cheryl
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Cheryl,
ReplyDeleteYou have been so strong. You had to know that eventually the patient would get tired of being patient! You're human (well superhuman) so you have to expect the down days. At least you have an excuse for being tired. Today, while Jack was at summer camp, I fell asleep on the couch around 3:00. Thankfully my sister came to my house at 5:00 so her kids could play on the trampoline. She walked into my completely opened house and found me snoozing on the couch. I had just 15 minutes to get to camp to pick up Jack and of course - I was that last mom to pickup (which Jack reminded me of the whole way home :) I know it's not easy for you to not be 100% right away. However I've learned that that key to happiness is setting realistic and reachable goals - such as, BE HEALTHY - only have ice cream every other day instead of every day. Maybe books on tape would be a better option at this point. You can get this downloaded on you iPod. You are doing incredible - you are such an inspiration - I hope the frustrating days are few and that you feel more like yourself.
Love,
Margaret
Cheryl,
ReplyDeleteWHEEEEEEEE! You're home and I am so happy for you and your family.
Whine all you want...you deserve to do that.After reading your blogs I don't dare think of whinning.
You are quite a young lady!
Addie Carone (your Mom's friend)
Baby steps Cheryl... Baby steps... I think this 100 days is just too big a target... Maybe we should divide it like a pregnancy, into 3- 30 day segments then a 10 day count down..
ReplyDeleteFirst 30 days: days 1-10, sleep, eat, spend time with the kids [the boys will be leaving soon] and blog... oh and tread mill for 20 min per day week one, 25 min each day week two and 30 min week three... Just your friendly nurse with a suggestion!!
Love you, and for a gal who likes to be out an about ...home sweet home can be a bit isolating..
Maybe we can set you up with oovoo- and a webcam!
Let me know..
Caryl
Cheryl,In the Bambara language there is a saying "Dooni, dooni, kononi bay nyaga da." It means "Little by little a bird builds its nest," another way to say "Be patient." You can do it. You haven't come this far just to OVERDO it and end up back in the hospital! Thinking about you all the time. How's Brett doing getting ready for college - or don't guys fret over that as much as we did? Of course, Shane paved the way. Best to all, love Susan
ReplyDeleteHi Cheryl
ReplyDeleteYour message is such a good lesson for everyone reading this blog to consider.....no matter what stage in life we find ourselves in, the lesson applies. To the very young, the very old and everyone in between. I just love your words
"but I must learn to live as much as I can within each day that I have. "
Thanks for letting your journey open this conversation for all of us.
Love from (sunny today!!) England
Cheryl,
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is allow yourself to feel what you feel, no matter what the emotion is...feel it. Embrace the moment, no guilt for you brave courageous woman. We are all here cheering you on and praying for you in the background. Please know your body, is not the only thing recuperating, your heart and mind have been through quite a journey as well. With that being said, breath, pray, eat, rest and know how much you are loved, and be patient, easier said than done, there is a reason why patience and patient are so similar, you need patience when you are a patient. In our daily prayers, love The Gilmartin's
hello,hello,have been checking the site daily but did't feel the need to post. now you've been home for almost a week and i'm sure you have everything under control there. patience is not a woods virtue so i now know you have a lot of woods traits in you, and i'm sure you know we(woodses)all want to control everything. anyway keep up your spirits and when i remember you in my prayers i'll ask to give you patience. your very much in my thoughts and prayers. i'm looking forward to your recovery and hopefully you'll go back to the cheesecake factory so i can go there for lunch and be able to say,my niece works in the kitchen here. love you
ReplyDeletedear cheryl & all kurtzes, just checking for an update,no luck. cheryl i hope no posting means your doing a lot of sleeping and resting as an excuse for no new chapter. maybe this week i'll try calling again as i really hate this type of communication. to me the telephone is much easier an i think more comfortable/personal. anyways just wanted you to know your very much in my thoughts/prayers. love uncle jack P.S.this is a 2nd posting this morning as i think i made the first one diappear when i was signing out.
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