Stepping off a cliff...

Wow...where did the last week go?? I finished up Round 2 of my Low dose Chemo regime, with Hayleigh, Bret, and Aunt Kate in tow.It was (thankfully) an uneventful visit followed by a fabulous lunch at Flour, a wonderful bistro in the south end for lunch, only to be brought home by Bret and promptly put to bed for the remainder of the day with a massive chemo headache. I was toast. Sunday came quickly and Bret's graduation was a proud day, shared with lots of family members. Gramma Kurtz made the trip from Oregon and Uncle Jeff and my niece Anna came from South Carolina for the big event, as well as lots of local Conway's.  I love having a full house...even if I'm not feeling so great. It just makes everything better! What a terrific weekend.

The big day was not complete without a Kurtz feast of Fred's Fabulous Flank steak, Beach Party Chicken and Summertime Shrimp Scampi Skewers as well as lots of salads, desserts and Aunt Kate's famous Chocolate Chip Cookies (trust me...they are in a category of their own! Just ask the Reading, MA Youth Baseball League. She was nominated for the all star team because of them!!) The staff at the BU Amyloid Clinic was quick to remind Kate again last Friday about  the "red button" incident in hopes that another guilt trip might yield more of Kate's cookies for them.

This weekend was, in some respects, bittersweet for me. I was looking forward to it because of all that it meant for Bret and I knew that I would have a houseful of family a couple of days. I also knew that at the end of that weekend, I would be saying goodbye to family gatherings for a while (whine, whine) and that my days on Laurel Drive were numbered. The reality is that numbers will play a huge role in my life from now on.

Monday came all too quickly for me and there was lots to do to get ready for Wednesday...the first day. Phase two was just around the corner and the threshold I was on was beginning to sink in...Its hard to describe how I was feeling, but here goes...
When we were in Cancun over Christmas break, we were in a jungle, going on a tour via "zip lines". All of us were standing on a perch, high above a river. I was first in line. The tour guide told me what to do, buckled me up and told me to jump. He then moved on down the line to assist others  who were behind me. Much to his dismay, when he turned around...I was still standing there, hanging on for dear life...and very much holding up the tour! I knew this was the moment...I had to jump...(or he ...and my anxiously awaiting -and very embarrassed family, were going to push me -LOL) He assured me it was quite safe...so I jumped. What a thrill! During my first "zip" I thought...there is something sooo wrong about a 48 year old woman - upside down - on a zip line...in the middle of a jungle in Mexico! However...after my first "zip" I thought, why did I wait so long to do this! That was pre-diagnosis.
I look back on that trip and think...It was exciting because I stepped out of my box on that trip and tried lots of things that I had never done before in my life (besides zip lining)...but.it was all  unknown,  Here i am again, standing on the top of a cliff, looking down into the water, ready to take the next step, dive in...knowing that its time...I have done all I can to get ready for this moment, that as soon as my feet leave the ground there is no turning back,...anything could happen...  I trust all those around me (my zip line), and I trust that I have the strength and courage to withstand the treatment (my harness) and come out stronger (the new and improved version!)  when its over. I am fully aware of all the risks. There is something so right about a 48 year old woman having a Chemo Vacation and Stem Cell Transplant at BU Medical Center.  I have faith. But it is still something I have never experienced before...the unknown. I'm really hoping for a thrill, but I'll be (very) happy with remission. LOL!
Kinda funny...that trip to Cancun taught me a few things. Who knew? ...HE did!

I jumped...
Auntie Del (my big sister), Freddie (my love) and I began this next phase on Wednesday, together. More tests, more meetings, more doctors.
Thursday I got my central line put in (ouch!).
Today...I got Growth Factor injections, (ouch!) My bone marrow is busy making 2.5 million extra stem cells, which will save my life. 
Now, I'm tired ...going to sleep.
I have hope and faith...Tomorrow is another day. Boy do i have lots more to blog about!